Sunday, 14 May 2017


will be posting my architecture not so good work in order to spread some wings on the designing business thingy.


Sunday, 8 January 2017

supporting system

I am not in the mood of writing at all, but something just happened earlier this evening and it deserves a mark on my online journal since I wanted to remember this forever as long as I live.

During my early adulthood, I sometime wonder have I made friends with the right people? Are they really my friends or did we just stuck together and forced to be friends? Well as I examine them I assume that nature has its own way on answering one's question. several weeks after the question is up in the air, someone just broke my phone's screen for he gave an undoubtedly exciting news that tears me up, in a very good way.

And i am not going to talk about his achievements because he deserves better than an untrusted personal blog.

This is one of those friends that has always been my supporting system since ever. And no, we don't even stuck together. Meeting with the strangest condition ever, I acknowledge him since he was so famous back then when he got possessed (am I allowed to talk about this?) and long story short we finally introduce ourselves on our way back from school in an angkot and found out that we were born in the same uncommon city here in our area, Palembang. The odd does not stop there, it continues through the school council, even later become enemies on some competition but honestly i don't even know how we are friends and at this point... I do not even care.

There are just so many moments shared, especially the important ones. Of all, I remember you picked me up and then give me a 1000 rupiah originally told to pay for the parking ticket but it was actually a notes for me before I left for Gita Bahana Nusantara 2013, chat me during all the quarantine especially when I fail the audition for MPR even after I went back we used to sing sundanese song, sabilulungan together.. sometimes only via bbm :( good old days.

I even browse twitter to re-read so many funny chats and found that you actually sit and try to find my face even only for split of seconds H3H3H3H3

It is funny to realise, after more than 8 years of friendship,  we have only been a classmate for one year, and we don't even go to the same high school. But never once I doubt wether I am your friend  or not. And today I assure than I can even say I am a proud friend of yours & thank you for reminding me that i used to have big dreams and to hold on to it, still.


To one of the most funniest, smart, compelling yet thoughtful person I know:
Good luck with life ahead, so many great things are waiting to be done. May you find the true meaning of life & the purpose of it. I am honoured to see how much you grow and looking forward to see what the future holds. You are in my prayer :) 
See you soon!

here is to cherish those moment when you guys roll me inside my blanket like a sushi on my 17th birthday.

ps: no he is not my lover; he is way to cool for me. 

Thursday, 22 December 2016

On deadlines

usually, near deadlines... my brain has the urge to think about the most strange thing. when it is supposed to focus on my project.

today I found that,

After 20 years of living, I found out that one of the purposes of life is to find something worth dying for.

Have you find yours?

Thank God I think I deadlines.

Friday, 21 October 2016

midterm memoir

First of all.

If this is a test of life;

and you think this has anything about midterm; or memoir;


you are being judgmental;

you judge something by its title.

or should it be that way?

Or am I the one who is being judgmental?

because I judge you?

or is it you

for you have judged me

on the fact you can never prove

that I may have judged you?


My body has a very bad timing un-productivity. When I should be studying the most, that's when it does not function properly, the most. But on second thought... which sane person blame their bodies for not being able to work the way it should be? Exclude me from your answer.

Being in architecture school confuse me than any other thing I have accomplish or live in my entire life. Can I just leave life the way I wanted to leave architecture? But that means to die for. Will it be worth it? Is there anything left leaving, then? Confusing.

This is how my mind speak to me every single time for the past 5 semesters I have.

Who does not go crazy, being surrounded by such voice? Especially when it is my own.

Can I kill it?

But that means killing my self; or my own voice?

Will I be deaf then? for not hearing my own voice inside my head that does not exist but created by my mind.

But wasn't my mind busy reminding myself about how I have failed life by committing into this school?

How can I decide which one is true?

wasn't that my brain's job?


my brain.

her name is clearance.

at least that is how she is supposed to be.

if clearance is murdered

I will be sad


Will I be mute then?

I don't know, I can't say a thing.

Am I mute then?

This is crazy.

I can only see when my eyes are half open;

Is this partial obedience?

But this works the most;

I cannot focus with two eyes opened;

When people are asking for more than two.

My perception of time is slowing down.

This is scary.

Have you ever have your own rhythm?
When things are slow, very slow; and nothing seems to bother you.
All rhythm are acceptable; as long as it is under your control.
Is it about the rhythm or about the control is all about?

But it gradually disappear and I don't know why.

If I scream will it come back?

n o p e.

This is crazy.